The Eternal Struggle

Life is always about two sides. Good and bad, Heaven and hell, Page and Plant...

The struggle for me is light and dark. I've always been embroiled in conflict, in anger, in sorrow. But I've also had joy, love, and blessings man can't comprehend. I feel so weird sometimes that I fight amongst myself even on the greatest day.

Example for ya. Thursday this last week (5/15) I was at the park with my wife, enjoying subs from the local place that we love. In the cemetery, on what was the most beautiful day of the year so far. Looking over the pond. When across the street on the outside of the cemetery, their was a guy getting taken down by the cops. It was a wild time! But I still enjoyed it.

Even in a good time in my life, there is conflict. But I try to walk the line between the light and the dark. Even though at times its difficult, when something goes bad in my life, I tend to focus more on the dark than the light, but when things are going good, I tend not to think about the dark, and focus on the light. The light is great, many good things have happened when I focus on the light in my life. And thats all that life is about, finding balance, or balancing in favor of the positive, the things that move life forward.

Between the Worlds

I sit in a world of madness looking for sanity.

I long for it, in a world of wars, inflation, recession, foreclosures, disease, disaster, death.

I go through the day looking for a way to deal with the madness. I try to become myself, but the more I do, the more people around me seem to think I need to be like them to fit in. I look for the sanity, in my work, my play, my "me" time. But I'm lacking it, I don't know where to find it...

So, on the weekends when I get myself alone. I sit down, I strap in, I turn on, and just let the world fall aside for a few hours. And get lost in the feeling of the stream of sanity into my head. I wait the entire week, just for a small taste of a life where I'm not judged on what, who, why or if I am. Where nothing matters but beat, rhyme, prose and rhythm. All I care about when I'm in the world between the left and the right, is just being.

Just enjoying what comes into my ears.

Just loving myself, and being me. And in that moment, I feel it. I am god in that moment.

Intro

Hi there. I'm Jason...or Crow as most of you know me.

With this blog I'm going to explore the more shadowed side of my personality.

Those of you thrown by the BOS in the title are not wholly mistaken. This is a book of shadows. Of a different kind.

To quickly explain, backin high school, my best friend told me about an idea to start writing/sketching in a notebook, and let no one see it. Or at least those close to you...I know the blog kinda defeats that purpose. But this is my sounding board. So I hope you like, bookmark this in firefox to get all the updates...gotta love the 'fox!

Since I have to be back at work in 8 minutes, I must fly!